alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's blow job season.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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