why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How does it feel to date your dad?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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