Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
