Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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