I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
