So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
