Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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