guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
