Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
