But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My hand turned me down
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
