I CAN MOONWALK!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Panties = found
Randomize
