Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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