It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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