I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
