Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ugly people sure do ruin things
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
