I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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