I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
