i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
