do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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