brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
