Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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