I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
