so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
