You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
