Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
where are my pants?
in the oven.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Never underestimate the power of titties
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
