I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
