So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So many bounce houses so little time
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
