Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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