How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
