I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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