reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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