On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
