i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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