do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
