Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
