Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
