I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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