Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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