And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We had to coat check the pizza.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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