Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
