your thong is hanging out like whoa
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
