ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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