hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
