i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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