i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
