This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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