Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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