there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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