..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
