the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
