turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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