Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
