You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
