Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
